Trans-Mission
March 4, 2006 by Douglas · Leave a Comment
I went shopping! That’s right all you cool cats out there in blogland, I know you love to hear me go on and on about grocery shopping – so HERE I AM!
There was a slight twist to our adventure today however. You see, I am deciding to try and become a healthier, sexier ME. I have it all planned out and will soon be the hunka-hunka burning love I have always wanted to be. There is some history here, see I used to be 160 lbs. GOTCHA! Of course I was, but I don’t know how long I was there… I was likely only at 160, while I was on my way to 165, so it is all relative.
Rabbit Trail:
See that’s truth in advertising, and I love advertising. Again with the LIES! I don’t LOVE advertising, but I love the psychology and the truth. I like how you can say:
“Get your next box spring at Doug’s Mattress Emporium, where we put more Sproing in your Groin! Our mattresses and box springs are a fraction of the price of our leading competitor! Stop in today, and GET ON YOUR BACK!”
Now that statement (“Fraction of the price”) will always be true. It is! Always! Doug’s Mattress Emporium sells mattresses for $650, but Mervyns sells them for $200. That’s a fraction! 13/4 – SEE, I love it! Its not lying – its the rope-a-dope.
/Rabbit Trail
So what big change did I make today? I bought Lean Pockets, instead of my regular Hot Pockets. Now I was not convinced that it would be necessary – in fact I was prepared to pass them up completely, but K said “Let’s look and see.” WOW half the fat and 1/3 fewer calories, and more fiber (oh thank God for more fiber, my septic tank thanks you, Lean Pockets). I was impressed – PLUS! NO TRANS FAT! May I make a note that I think the Trans Fat has become extinct. Everything now-a-days says 0g Trans Fat, it’s on everything I tell ya. I bought Tostitos Yellow Cheese Dip LAST week, and half way through the jar I saw the label said no trans fat. NO TRANS FAT!? If this stuff is sans-trans… what DOES have trans fat? I digress.
Stop, collaborate and listen… that’s right, I think I personally may have some trans fat. That just SUCKS, I am definitely putting an end to it. I am putting out a Jihad on trans fat, that’s just all there is to it. This of course means that since us humans likely have trans fat, that Soylent Green I have been consuming is definitely a no-go now.
So anyway, here’s my plan. Drink more water, eat more veggies and fruits, actually leave my house for several moments of the day, and lay off the after dinner snacks. My challenge will be the last one. I stay up “working” until usually 5, 6 or 10 in the morning. Then I sleep for a few hours thus skipping “breakfast”. The bright side is that my boss is SUPER pleased with me, I just found out. This does not mean that I will be reducing my hours right away, but it means I’m not fired either! Yeah baby – we’re keepin’ the house!
