I love the nightlife

Okay I agree I have been gone too long.  It was too easy, I regret to say, not to blog while on vacation.  Getting back into the swing of things has taken a while.  I came home to over forty messages in voice mail, and requests for speaking engagements out the wazoo.  What’s the deal?  Where were you punks a few weeks ago?

So Vegas.  Where do I start?  The limo picking me had some smart-ass driver thinking he was a comedian asking if I was headed to Circus-Circus.  He knew my destination before he arrived, why be a dick?  Where’s your tip butt monkey?  Oh yeah, I’ll be using that on my only trip to the roulette table.

We arrived at the MGM and I was only in my room for about a half hour before heading down and onto the floor.  I never fill the drawers or unpack my suitcase, I think it is a waste.  I am not actually living there, and I am not trying to impress anyone.  If I have any broads up in my room, I doubt the topic of discussion would be the organization of my sock drawer.

Did I get lucky?  Yeah.  Did I win money?  Yeah.  Did I lose money?  Oh Yeah!

Any of you been to Vegas?  Or Reno?  Or any kind of casino?  Everyone finds a game that they are good at, or understand and stick with it.  Oh you may wander a bit and try something new, but you always come back to what you know.  Despite the tip money burning the hole in my pocket from the asshole driver, I head straight for a semi crowded craps table.  I love craps and I truly hate roulette.  Probably because I wont take the time to wrap my brain around it.  Craps on the other hand is easy and is a short-lived relationship.

Speaking of relationships, there was Debbie.  Or was it Donna?  I swear her name changed more than once in the course of the evening.  She took a chip.  This is code to me that you want me to use you like a pro ping-pong player, or you want to be busted big time by the pit boss.  Okay it wasn’t like she just sat down and started swiping money, there was considerable flirting and her shoeless foot up my pant leg.  I am not a high roller, so the chip she placed immediately on the Field was not too big of a hurt.  The fact she seemed to have no clue on how to play was a slight insult.

I love the tables.  The first time I went to Vegas I “played it safe” and spent all my time at the slot machines and video poker.  First of all, you will never make any money that way, but if you are looking to simply waste time until your return flight, its okay.  Second of all, the sexy ladies with the drinks are all down where the real money is being spent.  You only see a drink toting lovely upstairs once an hour or so.  I like to drink a little, but I would rather decline a drink offer, than wish I had one.

I spent about three hours playing with “Debonna” slowly making money and then getting slapped by lady f*ck – I mean luck.  It was when I decided to leave the table that she decided to part company.  I asked her to come along and play a little Dr. Seus.  But she seemed to turn bashful and coy at the thought of a little “Hop on Pop” or to let me wear her Cat like a Hat.  I never got to see her Sneetch the whole trip even though I saw her again twice.  We were not meant to be at all.

I will detail more of the trip in another blog.  This was kind of how it went the trip though.  A lot of indoors and very little outdoors.

Good to be back!

Be Sociable, Share!

•