The World Is Flat-ulent
September 22, 2007 by Douglas · 3 Comments
I think it is my state of tiredness today that brings my thoughts to the underprivileged. As I sat there pondering the universe it occurred to me how good I really have it. I may be a tad overweight and I may not have very many nickels to rub together, but really I have more than a lot of people.
Whereas I used to wish I were much thinner, I don’t any longer. And where I used to occasionally wish I had some disability to garner attention and nab a kick ass wheel chair (with one of those electric joysticks to steer with – oh yeah!), I am giving those thoughts up as well. I realized in my state of relief that: “Thank God I have a decent sized ass and legs!” ‘Cause there are those who don’t – and when you get one of those farts, where you think its okay to let it rip, but then it turns out to be something juicier… well my friend, that’s when your ass cheeks save you from a clean-up on aisle 9.
Seriously think about it. How many times has your ass saved your ass? It’s a little recursive I know, but its not that hard to wrap your mind around.
I’m just saying.
I'm an independent web developer and copywriter. When I'm not gazing into the seductive mistress of the internet, I'm helping to raise my two daughters (1 teen, 1 pre-teen) and hyperactive 5 year-old kung-fu master son. Blissfully and happily married to my wife, Kristen - as we try to survive the epic daily battles of suburban life in Maple Valley, WA.
Eeeuuu!
Big ass cheeks definitely amplify and distort, that’s all I’m sayin.
I have just returned form being out of town and had been unable to contact you regarding your inquiry. This seems the only portal I can leave any message to, you are not receiving mail to your page, and it seems a shame to have to do this on a a comments section regarding something else.
Elonna died last month from lymphatic cancer. I knew the diagnosis last year when I told you she was sick, but did not realize how desperate it was. I had been kept informed, by her sister in law.
I trust you and yours are safe and happy, miss your humor and humanity, be safe and take care. Steve