Plain Brown Wrapper
November 14, 2007 by Douglas · Leave a Comment
I used to be amazed at the Enterprise Rent-a-car commercials, where you’d see a car driving down some wooded path all wrapped up in brown packaging paper… looking like it was driving blind. “Wow”, I figured “That guy behind the wheel must be a great driver!” But in actuality you can actually see the windshield isn’t covered… stupid kid.
So I’m sitting there watching an Enterprise Rent-a-Car commercial tonight – and they are toting how they come and drop off the car to your location. They always show some soccer-mom with kids waiting somewhere about to rain and needing the dude to show up, and presto there he is. Then they show her driving away and leaving that dude there to what? Walk home?
The funnier one is where the schmuck brings the car to the woman’s house and she drives off with the dude hanging out on the sidewalk. Is that the message you wanna send to your customers? We drop off the car to you, so you can be on your way… and Dave here will then freely break into your house and try on some of your clothes… stick your tooth brush up his ass… and hide acorns in your mattress. I wouldn’t put it past them – I know I would!
We were recently at the airport picking up my sister-in-law and had to tromp past all the rental car desks. No one was in line and all the stooges behind the counter were just wasting time, chatting and some were reading books. Cake job! These ass holes are probably union too!
Speaking of Unions… I am losing my patience with all of them. This writers strike is going to mess up some quality TV I imagine, which doesn’t make me want to get that douche bag back in his job – it makes me wanna replace him with someone grateful to have a job. I get what they are complaining about, but how does shutting down television in many degrees ensure you win? If those television shows lose ratings because you’re a stubborn fatty, don;t you think maybe advertising revenue is going to be effected? Don’t you think maybe if you are an ass long enough your show just might get cancelled? Where’s your job then… jackass.
Maybe this is just the ultimate test of the pen being mightier than the sword… or the axe – if they wait too long.
I'm an independent web developer and copywriter. When I'm not gazing into the seductive mistress of the internet, I'm helping to raise my two daughters (1 teen, 1 pre-teen) and hyperactive 5 year-old kung-fu master son. Blissfully and happily married to my wife, Kristen - as we try to survive the epic daily battles of suburban life in Maple Valley, WA.