Green Sleeves – Pet Peeve

Saturday Night Live was a rerun tonight – I imagine that is due to the writers’ strike going on in good ol’ Cali-forn-eye-aye.  The host was Brian Williams, who wasn’t very funny – but maybe if I stayed tuned in longer I would have witnessed some of the comedic brilliance he portrays on the nightly news.  Oh, that’s not crap he makes up?  Never mind.

One of the skits they did had Brian talking to a thought bubble of Bono who was acting as a fluffer for his ego.  I immediately assumed that Bono or U2 or REM or whatever band he is part of would be the musical guest – I was wrong.  Tonight’s musical guest was Feist (according to the SNL website), and I was less than impressed.  I am certain that I projected my Bono-hatred onto them after one of their lyrics resonated with sheer Bono-ism: “One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, and ten”.  Not necessarily as befuddling as “uno, dos, tres, quatorse!” I mean at least they got six in a row right, right?

I can’t explain my Bono-hate.  I have no REAL justification for it, other than I think he sucks.  To some people, that’s like telling any Rock and Roll die-hard that ‘Zeppelin’ suck.  Wake up and join the new century you retreads!  I remember liking Spandau Ballet in the 80’s.  Sure they’re pretty flaming now, but back then they were ‘all good’ in my book.  Back then all my friends one who would get into my totally rad 1983 Ford EXP would almost immediately request if I had any U2 to pop into the cassette deck.  No one ever offered to make me a mixed tape though – they just had to settle for the radio or my sub-par easy listening music featuring Erasure or the aforementioned Spandau Ballet.  Communists.  I wasn’t going to be a U2 Sheep.

Bono wears those big tinted porn star sneeze guard sunglasses.  Are those prescription lenses?  Is he just jumping on the Elton John fancy glasses band wagon?  If so, he is shooting pretty low.  I could complete the same look back in woodshop in Junior High School – but you don’t see me telling any governments how to spend their money… while simultaneously doing commercials for Target.

Maybe it goes deeper than that though – maybe its not Bono exactly… rather perhaps it is the Irish in general that I don’t like.  What great things have come out of Ireland other than Leprechauns, four leaf clovers, Irish Spring and a few decent potato casserole recipes?  The call them the Fighting Irish for a reason, right?  Even in Braveheart they had that one wacky psycho Irish dude who was a bit ‘touched’.  I know he turned out to be loyal and to have lots of trustworthy friends… but he was still pretty off kilter.

Don’t get me wrong, I mean my last name is Colley, I love Lucky Charms, and I’m all for stepping stools at counters and booster seats in restaurants for the wee ones.  Come on Bono, you’re no Highlander – and there can be only one…!

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