Merry Go Hound

Maxim magazine readers rated poor little Sarah Jessica Parker as the Un-Sexiest Woman on the Planet, and she’s not happy about it. The “I had to have it!” girl is heart broken because she was ranked like the uber-sex kittens that normally fill their pages bought by twenty and thirty somethings. Give me a freaking break!

I have not been able to stomach a full episode of Sex And The City, ever. I don’t care for her character, her narrating the story, and the endless romps with multiple sex partners. I could make a list of all the unattractive aspects of her and that character, but I mean really – its all common sense!

You know, last time I checked, the readers of Maxim are not looking for a 43-year-old rhinoplasty candidate with a melon resembling something from Easter Island. If anything I think the women who love to watch the show now in reruns have fueled fame. Her advertising campaigns are typically for the ladies (perfume, hair color, and crap) and the movies she’s been in lately are with young bucks like Matthew McConaughey – another of the ladies’ favorites.

If she had herself a merry go round, she’d be a prime candidate for a Lady Elaine Fairchild look-alike contest. Standing next to her main squeeze Matthew Broderick, they look like Punch and Judy, I let you guess which is which. I’d recommend taking some of those recently earned millions and buying a clue… or some plastic surgery if it bothers you that much. But why bother? I mean seriously, if you haven’t done it by now, you are probably of the mindset that you are valuable the way you already are (there is some truth to that you know), so what do you care that a bunch of guys ogling pictures of girls half your age, who you are never going to bang, think you are unsexy?

Sarah was quoted as saying:

“It upset him (Broderick), because it has to do with his judgement too. It’s condemnation, it’s insane. What can I do?”

This being about how Matthew was a little grumpy about the rating also. Has to do with HIS judgment? You mean he maybe chose poorly when picking you as his life long partner? That’s pretty shallow to think that, if it’s true.

“Hey sweety, I think those guys who voted you off Pretty Island may have a point. I made a mistake in picking you. The tribe has spoken.”

If anything, maybe some women’s mag should do a poll and rate the un-sexiest men in the world. I mean, I could really use 15 minutes of fame right about now!

But listen up Sarah Jessica Parker… I can think of plenty of other women/starlets un-sexier than you:

• Rosanne Barr
• Madonna
• Dr. Laura
• Mama Cass
• Amy Winehouse
• Hillary Clinton
• Susan Sarandon

See there? I believe a lot of people think the way I do. But if not, then just get over it and send me some money for being nice to SOME degree.

Peace out.

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