Gelly Filled

If you take a trip to my medicine cabinet, you’ll find out a lot about me. You’d find out that I shave, have clean ears, and that I am married. That’s right, I have precious little in that “mutual” medicine cabinet/cubby hole above our sink. Oh, please don’t mistake that to mean that it’s not crammed full of stuff… its just not my stuff.

Below the cabinet you’ll find my deodorant. I keep it there, because the right swing-y door (my side, of the three panels) makes a loud snapping sound when opening it. There must be something wrong with one of the hinges. It has been making that sound for about two years now, and it would appear that it is much simpler to keep some of my stuff on the countertop instead of fixing the darn thing. I also keep my deodorant there because I don’t want to make that sound in the middle of the night or early morning when I am getting ready to head out the door. The chance of waking up a child is not a gamble I want to make at O’Dark-thirty.

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking: “Douglas, what brand of deodorant do you use to keep smelling fresh as a daisy?” Well, if you must know, I use Right Guard Active Sport Gel Antiperspirant and Deodorant. I don’t do sports really, unless you count competitive eating… ok that’s a lie. I am not in competitive eating at all – however if I keep training, maybe someday I’ll make the team.

I like the Gel deodorants much better than the other ones I have tried in the past. I have been using Gels for many years, so if they have made improvements in the other varieties, I am clueless. You’ll have to send me your recommendations if you think yours is better.

I used to use the aerosol flavor (Arrid Extra Dry, the orange can from yesteryear), but eventually found that it stopped working, or my body became immune to its powers. If nothing else, I think it may have even amplified my stink producing abilities, and it certainly did not keep me from sweating like Bill Clinton in a room full of interns. My affair with roll-ons and regular stick antiperspirants was very short lived, and then I found the gels… at last, the wonderful gels!

My current cap boasts: “No Gel is Stronger”. I think I understand what they mean by this. I believe this statement to mean that their gel antiperspirant formula is stronger and/or better than the leading brand, or any competitor. But that’s not what it says. It says “No Gel is Stronger”. I am a firm believer that you should really be clear and concise when you make little slogans and splash images like this. It’s really a form of advertising, and you should expect that someone reading the line out of context would know what you are talking about – in this case, Deodorant.

Quite frankly, the blanket statement of “No Gel is Stronger” is ludicrous. How do you measure gel strength? Maybe their gel is more or less viscous? Is that what they meant? Because the whole point of gel is to be not strong, or stiff really. In fact is my gel were “strong” I think it would have difficulty finding all my crevices that I count on it locating. It’s a time saver really, making one application and letting my body’s regular locomotion to move the gel around and live where its needed… you know, hard to reach sweaty areas.

“No Gel is Stronger” is about as dumb as making the statement “No Cheese is Meatier” about Velveeta. Clearly Velveeta, as most processed or natural cheeses contain little to no meats. Sure, if you are counting the little organisms and stuff that turn cheese into cheese as a meat, then okay. But I don’t think that is the case. I guess headcheese could be considered meaty, or meatified.

Whatever, this is making no sense any more. Carry on.

Be Sociable, Share!

•