Drunks and Organized Regilions

There’s a blog I read somewhat regularly, even if I am not a frequent commenter on it, and recently it discussed Organized Religion.  I happen to be of the mindset that religion needs to be organized – because I am the most unorganized mofo you’ll ever meet – and my religion is the only thing about me that is in “order”.

I liken the prospect of there being no organized religion to school in general, where the teachers hand you a book and give you zero guidance on how to use the book, or how to start applying the information you are reading.  Yeah, you see, if that were the case, then there would be countless interpretations of the bible, or whatever religious texts you read.  There NEEDS to be some commonality and some leadership in religion – like it or not, because otherwise people are led astray and are doomed.

I don’t yet count Scientology as an organized religion, nor do I consider it a religion at all.  Scientology is kind of like Amway, in my personal opinion.  You buy into it, or you don’t.  And when you DO buy into it, you’re locked in, unless you are willing to denounce the whole thing as a scam.  God is entirely different however.  God does expect you to understand and follow rules, but with free will comes freedom… freedoms to fail, and freedoms to fall.  Luckily there is a lifeline.

I recently re-found my faith as a matter of fact.  I was watching my life go straight to hell literally and I had forsaken everything.  I have worked my way through a path of pain and pleasures, to arrive at where I am now – and I can definitely say that I NEED God and a personal savior.  I cannot do it on my own.  And having faith is NOT a crutch – denying God is the crutch!  It’s an excuse to have zero accountability and blame luck or karma for personal decisions or commitments.

I once complained about not having consequences.  Why was I so blessed when I was being untrue?  I am one of those guys who would complain to the teacher that they forgot to assign the homework for the day… and the one to complain that I personally didn’t receive the kind of punishment I should have.  Oh ye of little faith, I received my payback, but it wasn’t in the form I was expecting.  Silly human.

It wasn’t but two weeks ago when my wife and kids were out of town and I was sitting here at home alone between working at my web job, and my harder-labor job, when I soon found out I had a void.  I knew it was time to eat, and I grabbed a snack.  After that nonsense I grabbed a plate of leftovers, and then a bag of chips, and then another meal-sized food item.  I realized that no matter what I ate, I was not full.  Do you know what that feels like?  I think I could have eaten non-stop for days and not felt full… and then it hit me, that I wasn’t even hungry – not for food.  The Word of God could only fill my void I had.  I’m not joking here, its true.  Sorry if this offends anyone, but its how it is!

I attend a great church with a great pastor.  The organized part of religion that I see within my church is the common thread that we all read and study from the bible – and there is fellowship in the church.  The fellowship I once disliked, because I don’t care for the meet and greet of the services, is replaced by the actual need to feel NOT alone.

See, you don’t have to be alone out there trying to find out why things are not working like you thought they should.  You don’t have to be embarrassed that you got it wrong, and that you can’t do it all on your own.  You don’t have to feel impotent because you need someone to be a lifeline from the pit you have dug for yourself. Its okay to have made mistakes, and you can be forgiven.  But denouncing organized religion as a whole does not necessarily make you a free man.

A few months ago I was in a lot of pain.  My arms, wrists and hands were in constant pain.  Carpal tunnel has set into both of my arms, plus a pinched nerve in my left – I was miserable.  For the first time I seriously understood what suicidal tendencies meant.  I would say that most of my time was spent thinking about killing myself.  There was a solid month of contemplating suicide, over how much pain I was in.  That’s pretty severe.  I am still in pain, even now – but it is getting better.  I had turned my back on all I knew and lived day-by-day and minute-by-minute, not knowing what would happen next.

You know, I owe my life and purpose to my religion.  I’d gladly take His place on the cross if I could, honestly.  Of course that would negate the importance of the event, but I’d happily do so…  Not all organized religion is good or even valid.  I’m not the one to point out the bad ones, or the ones that you should look out for. All I know is that when you hear the truth, you know it, and you will respond to the truth positively or negatively.  I just pray that you’ll hear it, and will respond at all.

I guess what I would boil it down to is that “religion”, to me, never feels right.  Worship is what has always driven my faith.  At one time I had nothing, and I did seek religion in the Catholic Church, and I was hungry for the “order” and for the religion involved in the ceremony of attending church.  But I have come to learn that religion is not a good thing.  Religion is almost chemical.  Does that make sense?  Perhaps organized worship or organized fellowship is a better term.  No matter how you feel, free will is at hand and you can make your own choices.  I just pray that when you hear the truth you respond.

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