Open Late – Or Die!
July 2, 2008 by Douglas · Leave a Comment
I was flipping channels with my loving and adoring spouse this evening when we stopped on this commercial for Burger King. the gist of the ad was that some corporate hound was asking for advice on how to spread the word the “BK is Open Late”… and he was seeking this advice from none other than P. Diddy. Mr. Diddy then proceeds to tell the guy to simply announce to people that “Diddy says BK is: Open Late” and presto change-o now Burger King is swamped with raving lunatics seeking a Western Whopper.
Well I for one am even more dedicating my life to not eating at Burger King. I don’t like Burger King as it is! But now that P. Diddy has decreed that its all good in his hood and open late… I couldn’t care less if the King himself popped into that conference room and stabbed that guy with his crown. In fact, I’d pay good money to watch that happen.
I’m not sure where to begin with this clown – my list of dislikes for him are pressed own shaken together and overflowing. I can’t say that I wish someone would take him out Biggie Smalls-style – because that’s not very Jim Neighborly of me… but if it did happen, I’d not shed too many tears. (East Siiiieed!)
I was already determined to stay away from BK anyway, however. I have NEVER been to a Burger King that was not coated in a nice not-so-thin layer of grease. I’m not kidding, its like the chairs and tables in their restaurant are all sweating! Sesame seeds lay wedged between their sepia tone tiles holding on for dear life. Heaven forbid someone use some air freshener in that place. They almost entice me with their Slurpee-like beverages, but the scent of bum reminds me that ‘this is a good place for a Stickup!’
I really like the BK commercials with that big-plastic-mardi-gras-king-head-phantom-guy, I think they are funny. But why on earth would they add P. Diddy? I hate typing that name: P. Diddy. It is one of THE dumbest stage names EVER, right up there with Chingy or Spice Girls. P. Diddy just sounds like something R. Kelly would get busted for.
I'm an independent web developer and copywriter. When I'm not gazing into the seductive mistress of the internet, I'm helping to raise my two daughters (1 teen, 1 pre-teen) and hyperactive 5 year-old kung-fu master son. Blissfully and happily married to my wife, Kristen - as we try to survive the epic daily battles of suburban life in Maple Valley, WA.