Riddle Me This Batman

So ‘The Sun’ is reporting that the cast of the next Batman movie has been announced, and they scored Eddie Murphy as The Riddler.  Seriously?  Eddie Murphy?  Have you seen any of his last movies, you Hollywood douchebags?  Meet Dave?  Oh my God… no… Please Mary and baby Jesus don’t cry – Christmas is ruined.

I like Eddie Murphy – as the voice of a talking Donkey that is.  Ever since Dr. Doolittle his movies have been so lackluster and played roles meant for someone NOT him.  Why not cast Dakota Fanning as Robin?  Or cast Carl Weathers as Alfred?  Because that would be stupid that’s why.

I personally thought Jim Carey did a fine job as the Riddler in the 1995 making of the Batman Returns.  In fact his role and part were the only ones worth throwing up on the big screen.  I love me some Tommy Lee Jones, but he was a piss-poor Two-face.

I liked how the first Batman with Christian Bale had only one villain, if you discount Liam Neeson’s performance, since his character was off-screen most of the time.  This last one had only one bad guy too, the Joker.  But now they are going back to the shtick of adding another hero (Robin a.k.a. Shia Labeouf) and TWO villains Catwoman and the Riddler.  Yawn!  Unless this movie is upwards of four hours, prepare for a lot of rushed character introduction/building and a quick decline as the show closes with some foreseeable ending.

…UNLESS they plan on shooting two movies back to back!  And plan on introducing one of these characters at the end of the first movie and carrying the story over.  Then that’s like 5 hours of movie with the manditory year break for second release so they can capitalize on all the popcorn sales and at least two Christmas seasons of toys, video games, cereals, Happy Meal toys, Lego sets, hair clips, tampons, discolored yogurts, and of course a new cartoon series.

Now unless they can script Eddie to kill himself before the launch of the movie – expect this to be a flop.  That’s just me though.

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