Quick Study

There are several words out there that I use in conversations that take place only in my head and never see the light of day.  I have a decent vocabulary but quite frankly I often use words I don’t even know the meaning of.  Sometime I hear a word and can figure it out based on context, or sometimes a word just sounds brutal and I feel like I can use it and pull it off.

Sometimes, really, if you say something that comes off retarded you can still get away with it if you are confident enough.  Chances are really good and odds in your favor, that if you act like an authority on something, you could possibly be taken at face value just from your posture.

In these inner-head conversations however I sometimes bring the entire show to a halt when I start to use a word that just makes no sense or befuddles me in some way.  Sometimes I throw out words I know are not even close to the right context… like I am some kind of a waiter at a Diction Buffet.  I’m one of those irritating stooges handing our verbal samples in the middle of Costco – you don’t want the sample, but you’re at least going to hear my pitch.

Side note: Yeah those people handing out samples should be taken at least a little seriously, especially if you are tempted to buy their pedaled crap.  I bought some dry roasted edamame because I love regular edamame… bad idea.  I didn’t take the sample; I just grabbed one of the industrial sized canisters of the stuff and loaded it into my cart.  In my car as I devoured a handful and tried to get them down my throat, the dried cricket husks revolted and clung for dear life.  Dry roasted edamame = BAD.

A conversation today in my skull again seized up when I tried using the words “psycho semantic” but instantly felt like I threw a rod, because I didn’t know how to follow it up.  I’m in a conversation, with myself, and I no longer knew what I was talking about.

Of course this caused me to mull the whole thing over a while and come to a few conclusions based on other words that sound a little similar, and make even more sense.

I for one used to deal with a crazy Jewish lady who was a sugar momma for an Indian guy.  Not a Native American Indian either, no.  She wasn’t trying to learn the inside tracks on winning at the casino – she was married to a dude from India.  He was very metro-sexual and she was very… herself.  We won’t go there right now.  Anyway I would have referred to her as a “psycho Semitic” or “Crazy Ass Jew”, since she liked to play that card when appropriate.  Not to be mistaken by her polar opposite Mel Gibson who would be a “psycho anti-Semitic”.

Since I am sometime particular about the language I or others use, one could label me “psycho semantic” depending on what your words mean anyway.  That whole turnabout is paraphrase thing.

Jeeze – okay.  I grow weary of this.  Talk amongst yourselves or heaven forbid leave a comment.  I would hate that and you could therefore torment me.  Please.

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