All Knotted Up

I have a friend who is having a rough month.  I know we all go through some stormy seas every now and then, but sometimes you have to take notice and comment on it every once in a while.  In my case, if I didn’t add my commentary – I’d have nothing to write and then we’d ALL be sad.  I know it is hard for you to admit, so I’m just making it easier for both of us.  Feel the love?  Good.

I have relationships with people of all kinds… the people are all kinds, not the kinds of relationships.  For the most part all the relationships are just “friends-ly”, but those characters involved are the broad spectrum of possible personas.  I got peeps who are more happy than sad, and some that are more sad than happy.  Some have great senses of humor, and others still are just lacking in the ol’ brains department.

I have one friend in particular, one of my favorites, who is both a female, and an emotional rock.  OK, well maybe let’s just say that I have never seen her cry… yeah.  And well in my book that is close to rock-itude… kind of.  OK , not really – but lets carry on shall we?  Let’s call this friend “Princess Angie Fancy Pants” just for the purpose of this conversation.  Since you probably don’t know her and we need to put a name with the person and I can stop writing “this one friend I have blah blah blah” – and quite frankly “Princess Angie Fancy Pants” is just fun to write, read and say.  Four words, two syllables each – FUN!

So any way, I have been asked before if I thought Princess Angie Fancy Pants was ‘tough’, and to tell you the truth I never really knew how to answer that until today.  As I ‘worked’ alongside Princess Angie Fancy Pants this morning it came to me, the perfect summation of just how tough she is without detracting from her womanly-ness.  If someone were to come up to me today and ask me that same question again, I would be at the ready – as portrayed by this proposed commercial:

Juan Montana: ‘Ey uhm Dougless, does you think thet Princessa Anszhee Fansee Pansss iz tup?
Douglas: Why yes, Princess Angie Fancy Pants IS tough, so tough that is, that she uses new and improved Tam-p0wnz!
Juan Montana: Wha?  You say these tam-p0wnz are for de tup?
Douglas: Yes, my South of the Border antagonist, tam-p0wnz are more than just regular tampons, they punch a woman’s monthly cycle into motion before cold cocking it back into submission again.  Unlike regular brands, Tam-p0wnz, p0wn YOU!
*fade to black*

Not sure exactly why two dudes would be discussing this kind of topic really, but it was a great way to introduce my newest product idea: Tam-p0wnz, from the makers of Meatpon.  There are just too many good tag lines that would make this a fun and interesting product.  You can even go international with “In Mother Russia, Tam-P0wnz Bleed YOU!”.

I actually had an idea for the box design, where the picture of the product would be like a miniature fist with a knotted nylon rope coming from the ‘forearm’ of sorts, but that kind of got a bit graphical and kind of detracts from the whole femininity of the idea in general – which was not the goal.  But look, I just threw it out there anyway.  Check me out bucking the system like that.

Hopefully you all have friendships as wonderful as mine with Princess Angie Fancy Pants.  Which again isn’t her real name, I beg your pardon… nor is Juan Montana a real person either.  The crowds I hang with in the wee hours of the morning are so diverse, we even have Somali Pirates that chill in the corners.  We’re diverse I tell you!

And remember kids, nothing smells diverse like socialized medicine… and unions.  Oh snap, did I type “smells”!?  I meant SPELLS.  Yeah…

PALIN 2012!

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