Doug Marley

If you know me AT ALL then you know I just adore reggae music and have it playing in my head most of the day.  OK, that is completely untrue.  It does play in my head for parts of the day, but I pretty much for the most part HATE reggae music.  But to my delight, there is a strong reggae force at a place I get to spend some time at each day – and its mind numbingly repetitive.

Sometimes very rarely there is one that plays with insanely inappropriate lyrics.  The kind that would make a pole dancer’s lips needs Chap Stick.  But come to think of it there are plenty of Polish girls who wear Chap Stick… so…

GOTCHA!  See I made a joke.  Pole dancer… Polish chicks.  OMG I am so damn funny!  If only I were so quick witted about the Amish.  I digress.

So while this “music” resonates in my head, I tend to make it at least slightly more entertaining for myself, as if I were Doug Marley and the masses loved songs not about social dilemmas, religion, love and peace… but rather poop.  Yes the one thing we truly all share or else we would die a most grizzly death not unlike a firecracker in a watermelon.  I give you my Opus, yes not too unlike Bob’s “Exodus” – I give you, “Excrement”:

Excrement, bowel movement of jah people!

Men and women pull jah pants down
Then ya squeeze it tight
Let me tell you its smellin’ wrong
Everything come out right.
So you gonna sit – all night! – though our nose is revoltin’
We need ventilation – tell you why!
Turn on da fan, distribution.

Excrement, all right! Bowel movement of jah people!
Oh yeah!  Unngh yeah!  All right!
Excrement, bowel movement of jah people!  Oh yeah!

I guess it’s not done yet…