Chummy

This is the kind of challenged mentality that leads to unstoppable mutant viruses, the zombie hordes running rampant in downtown, and Reality TV.  See this article here: Monster fish killed after terrorizing Swiss swimmers.

Now this was listed right after the “Giant Squid Washes Up on SoCal Beach in Quake Aftermath…” story on Drudge Report today.  I saw the video of the giant squid, and that was kind of freaky with it all slapping about like that.  I expected to see a dead giant squid – not a helpless dying giant squid… sad times.  So when I read about Monster Fish, I was expecting something more Loch Ness-y, or at lease something with fangs and claws, or a throwback to some Kroft Superstars show with Sigmund flailing about with his Sea monsters.

So you have this crazed fish swimming about, stalking tourists and swimmers in some Swiss lake, taking bites out of them and leaving 4 inch lacerations on their bodies.  Well this fish, called a “Zander”, apparently normally doesn’t bite humans – but it is suspected that the poor thing was suffering from a hormonal imbalance.  The imbalance is what they think sparked the aggression, according to the article.

Since they couldn’t catch the fish with a net, they harpooned it.  Yeah, they killed the fish.  That’s really not so bad.  I mean sure, you were invading its natural habitat, but YOU were enjoying your well deserved vacation!  Sure, its a carnivore, and YOU are made of meat, but come on – this is Switzerland!  We’re supposed to be neutral here!

Needless to say none of this bothers me in the slightest.  What really makes me step back and wonder why people trust the Swiss with their secret bank accounts is what they did with the carcass of the hormonally imbalanced monster fish that was taking bites of human flesh…

“The meat from the captured fish was served up to tourists at the lake.”

WTF!?  Who’s running the show over there?  Was this being filmed for a new Food Network Special called: Red Neck Road Kill Party Hour?  What’s the side dish for a meal like that?  Retard Salad with Crazy Dressing?

…hmmm this could actually work to my advantage.  Maybe I could find a way to get Oprah and/or Rosie O’Donnell over there and toss a few BBQ ribs into the lake.  Problem solved America!  Saving the US housewife one Talk Show Host at a time!  Thank you Switzerland!