Cool Runnings

Most of my family (we left out the 4 year old), my sisters and their daughters all bundled up and huddled together this frosty morning to run the Christmas Rush, a 5K run-walk in Kent.

My initial goal was simply to do better than the last one we did in July, but I exceeded the time by 2 minutes.  Although I hung back and walked with my older sister – I wasn’t really going much slower than normal.  In the end I didn’t care about the time anyway – and had a blast with all of us there in that massive 1,400 people crowd.

It was that last mile of the “race” that I could tell my hands were thawing and I had feeling in my toes again.  It was downright frigid out there at 9:00am, and it was my digits that took the brunt of the cold.  Through the whole thing I didn’t break a sweat, and just started feeling it in my legs at the end – but it was a good walk.  Yeah I totally walked it, because there’s no way I was going to pretend to run out there at that hour without an alter boy running ahead of me with some glazed donuts.

The chasing and therefore running would of course been for the donuts.  The alter boy, just because in those robes, or smock or whatever it is they wear would likely slow him down.  Kind of like a reverse sail… thus making him catch-able.  I’m not really built for speed.

Around the two mile mark the small group behind us had begun to yammer about how if not for the cold, they’d be “tearing this thing up”.  Another in the group asked if they meant because of all the treadmill stuff they do, and an affirmative grunt was issued in reply.  This hoity toy-de banter about how awesome they were, and continued comments about runners passing us all going the opposite way (because they were heading to the finish line) were nearly endless.  Remember, we’re walking and these rejects behind us who remained for quite a while were going at the same pace, despite their incredible workout regimen and stamina.  Their company ceased when they turned back early – cheating.  (Cheating themselves, I admit.)

It didn’t take too long to get another group of brag-adiers behind us.  This time all women and with an obvious ‘leader’.  And man was she running at the mouth!  She went on and on about all the famous baseball players she’s met in her job.  Cal Ripken was the only one she could really remember the name of, and she drooled over him.  We could hear the saliva hitting the pavement and then cracking as it turned to an instant sidewalk stalagmite.

Her compatriots were happy enough to ooh and ah over her gloating over her job and even though she couldn’t remember any of the famous people’s names, it didn’t keep her from speaking.  She moved on to performers and dropped immediately on Rod Stewart, and how her friend was with her in the front row – Rod pulled her up on stage and before she knew it they were all in the tour bus with Rod’s beautiful wife… what was her name?  Ellen Hunter?  Paige Hunter…?  Something Hunter anyway… Rachel?  Yes!  Rachel Hunter was so glamorous and nice, as was Rod himself.  But alas she was so nervous initially that she couldn’t bring herself to even ask for an autograph.  That and she didn’t want to prop up or inflate Rod’s ego any…

Seriously? You couldn’t remember Rachel Hunter’s name?  We let the poser pass us and she was nothing special.  I mean, I’m sure her mom thinks she’s awesome – but first impressions kind of count, and I was not going to do any back flips over this feckless broad.

We ended the 5K with a goody bag and some massive candy canes, which I plan on handing out at the warehouse in the morning.  Now I just have to pick WHO gets the huge sugary treats… without pumping up or inflating anyone’s egos, that is.